


Where I Belong

by pique



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Complicated Relationships, FC Barcelona, Future Fic, Heavy Angst, M/M, Manchester City
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-07
Updated: 2016-05-07
Packaged: 2018-06-04 12:39:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6658072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pique/pseuds/pique
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kun misses Leo and cries himself to sleep over it. The last thing he can remember before closing his eyes is wishing that Leo played for Man City. When he wakes up, his wish has come true. It isn't all he'd imagined it to be, though.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where I Belong

**Author's Note:**

  * For [justkisa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/justkisa/gifts).



> This is my assignment for the Footie RPF Spring Fling, gifted to [@justkisa](http://archiveofourown.org/users/justkisa). I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> My original prompt was:
> 
> _Kun misses Leo and cries himself to sleep over it. The last thing he can remember before closing his eyes is wishing that Leo played for Man City. When he wakes up, his wish has come true. It isn't all he'd imagined it to be, though._
> 
> When I first came up with this prompt I felt quite light hearted about it. The fic itself is anything but. I don’t think that I had any idea of what a monumental task I’d set myself, and it’s involved a lot of work. I’d like to thank both J and K for being my beta readers, and for helping me to make my ideas more plausible. 
> 
> Needless to say, most of what you are about to read has come from my very vivid imagination. I’ve added a few notes at the end, but if there’s anything that doesn’t make sense I’ll clarify things in comments once author reveals have happened.

_Rosario, Argentina, July 2016._  
  
It’s the last night of their vacation and the sound of Leo’s laughter rings in Kun’s ears. Both of them are eating Dulce de Leche straight from the jar — a final indulgence before settling back into their stricter routines. Leo watches with approval as Kun licks the last remnants of the decadent treat off his sticky fingers.  
  
They’re supposed to be watching a movie, but instead they wind up reminiscing about that time they were out after curfew, trying to smuggle crisps from a vending machine into their hotel room.  
  
“It was your fault we got caught.” Leo’s smile is so wide that it makes laughter lines form around his eyes. Kun stares at him for as long as he dares before answering. This is how he loves to see Leo; relaxed and at ease, as though his nagging worries no longer exist. Sometimes he wonders if this light-hearted version of Leo only exists for him when they’re together like this, behaving like an old couple.  
  
“Oh please, we both know that I’m the innocent one.” Kun smirks wryly, his eyes lighting up with mischievousness. “You were the older boy, the one who was supposed to look after me. Instead you had me sneaking around and missing curfews. But when it comes to how much you’ve corrupted me, it’s only just the tip of the iceberg.”  
  
They both erupt into fresh snorts of laughter. In the background, the music playing on the TV starts to fade away. It’s replaced with the distinct chimes of an Argentine news broadcast.  
  
“Lionel Messi in crisis talks with Barcelona,” the presenter announces dramatically. Kun and Leo’s laughter ceases almost immediately. As they stare at each other, Kun’s easy going smile begins to slip away, turning to anxiety.  
  
“Leo,” he says softly, wishing he could protect Leo from the cruel and intrusive media. “Let’s turn it off.”  
  
“No.” His reply is quiet but defiant. “They know nothing about what’s really going on. No one does.”  
  
Kun frowns, resting his chin on his hand. Even after all these years of them being close, Leo is one of the most private people he knows. It’s the nature of his job that has made him this way, Kun thinks to himself. But sometimes bottling things up can be the worst thing to do, especially when there is help at hand. Kun would do anything for his boyfriend.  
  
Both of them listen as a presenter speculates about what’s going on behind the scenes. They talk at length about Leo’s fragile relationship with some of the board members at the club. He was due to start contract negotiations with them over the summer, but it apparently hasn’t happened yet. Then the show moves on to deconstruct the manner in which Leo’s tax scandal was handled, speculating that such matters taint the image of a prestigious team. It really gets to Kun. Everybody is so quick to turn Leo’s private matters into a scandal, rather than offering him support when he needs it the most.  
  
Football is so beautiful, but it can also be cruel. Nobody acknowledges the times Leo has played through matches in pain or the personal sacrifices he’s made for the game. Even here, in Leo’s home country, they are quick to hail Neymar as Barcelona’s new star. It’s a sickening, one-sided display of criticism towards a man who has given so much to Argentina.  
  
Finally, Kun has heard enough. He turns the TV off, sending the room into silence.  
  
“Leo…” His voice is barely more than a whisper. He reaches across and places a hand on his shoulder, offering reassurance. Leo remains silent, as though he doesn’t trust himself enough to speak.  
  
“Leo, please,” Kun presses. “Will you be okay?”  
  
Leo makes a choking noise, and Kun doesn’t know how to interpret it. He takes his time before he finally composes an answer.  
  
“I’m not sure,” Leo concedes. “I don’t know what I’m going to go back to when I land in Spain… a shit storm, I guess.”  
  
”What do you mean?” Kun wrinkles his brow in confusion. “What exactly do you think you’re going back to?”  
  
Leo frowns, letting his body sink in to the couch as though he wants it to swallow him up. “I don’t know if I’m ready to talk about it.”  
  
“But maybe it would help you,” Kun says soothingly, resting his hand on top of Leo’s and squeezing his fingers.  
  
“Things have been bad for a while.” Leo bites on his lip after making the admission. “Everybody expected us to do well last season, and when we went on that losing streak…”  
  
“They seriously tried to blame you for that?”  
  
“No, not completely. But it was implied that I didn’t pull my weight, that maybe I was thinking ahead to the summer.”  
  
Kun shakes his head in disbelief. It’s beautifully ironic for Barcelona to take such a stance. There are times when Leo has been lambasted for his performances with the Argentinian national team, and Kun and his other international teammates have had to remind him of his importance.  
  
“Then there’s the fact that they want me to take a pay cut,” Leo sighs. “They say it’s because of Ney, but I feel like they don’t believe in me anymore. Not like they used to. ”  
  
“Oh, Leo.” Kun laces his fingers with his, wishing he could offer him more than this lame attempt at comfort.  
  
“Yeah,” Leo says sadly, squeezing Kun’s hand in return. “I feel like I’m being pushed out of the place that’s always been my home.”  
  
“It doesn’t have to be like that,” Kun responds.  
  
“What do you mean?” Leo says dubiously.  
  
Kun hesitates, already feeling a rush of guilt for his candour. He never talks about what he thinks Leo should do with his career because it crosses a line. But this affects him too, and he doesn’t see why he should hide the fact that he wants them to be together properly.  
  
“You have options… you could play anywhere that you wanted to. You could be with me.”  
  
Leo turns his head sharply at the remark. He doesn’t reply.  
  
“Is it so wrong that I want you to stay with me?” Kun asks, his voice wavering. “I worry about you all of the time. I miss you so much that it hurts.”  
  
“No, it’s not wrong of you,” Leo answers quietly. “But I can’t do it – you have no idea what you’re asking me to walk away from.”  
  
“You said you were being pushed out. It’s beginning to sound as though you don’t have much of a choice.” Kun sighs, battling with his inner jealousy. FC Barcelona has always felt like a mental and physical barrier between the two of them. He hates that there are so many things that he doesn’t know about Leo’s life in Spain. Sometimes, it’s as though large parts of Leo’s life are a mystery to him.   
  
“Let’s not do this,” Leo says more desperately. “You know that you could have been playing alongside me if you’d signed when you were given the chance. Luis wasn’t our first choice. You were.”  
  
“Sometimes, football makes us do things like that. Sometimes, you have to be selfish.” Kun says the words with more conviction than he feels. He came close to signing for Barcelona once but chose to stay in England, with an improved deal at City. He did what was right for him, despite being sad about the fact that it would mean he wouldn’t be with Leo.  
  
“I just wanted to enjoy tonight,” Leo sighs, as though he’s trying to close the discussion. “Neither of us knows when we’re going to be together again.”  
  
Kun swallows hard. The words are like a stab to his heart. He knows he will never love anybody like he loves Leo. He also knows that things will never be simple for them.  
  
* * *  
  
There are very few non-stop flights between Rosario and Manchester. Almost 17 hours after boarding his first airplane of the day, Kun is finally back on British soil.  
  
His house is eerily quiet, but the silence is deafening. It’s the first thing he notices when he walks through the front door. The entire place is scrupulously clean. His people have done a good job of getting it ready for his return. It just feels so unlived in and adds to his sense of isolation. Idly, Kun lets out a little sigh and wonders if he will ever consider this house to be his home. But with a jolt he realises that bricks and mortar don’t make a home. Home for him is a person, not a place, and that person is Leo.  
  
It’s pointless, but Kun checks his phone. He knows that it will take Leo even longer to get home than it did for him. Still, he’s disappointed when there’s no message from him. Kun’s mind flashes back to the previous night and their disagreement. He feels a fresh wave of guilt.  
  
The first couple of nights apart are always the hardest. Right now Kun feels an ache that’s almost physical as he longs for Leo’s presence. He showers robotically, scrubbing away any staleness that’s lingered with him from travelling. When he’s towelled himself dry he checks his phone again. Still nothing. He waits. He waits some more. It begins to feel like an eternity.  
  
Finally, he gives in to the idea that he’s got to rest. It’s late and his body is exhausted. Even if his mind won’t switch off, he can at least go through the motions of sleep. He sends Leo a text message and leaves his phone on silent. Maybe he’ll wake up to a reply. As he lies in bed, sleep seems impossible to find. Kun is hyperaware of the space next to him where Leo’s body should be. That’s when the sadness hits him like a torrent of Manchester rain, soaking into his every bone, making him shiver uncontrollably. His mind flashes back to their last conversation and how Leo’s face looked as he was racked with inner turmoil. He thinks that it shouldn’t be like this; that he was right and they should be together. Unsuccessfully, he tries to choke back a sob. Soon his tears are flowing like a river, and he cries until he can’t, until there’s nothing left.   
  
It’s selfish, he knows that. This time he is right though, and no one, not even Leo will convince him otherwise. He just can’t see how it wouldn’t be better for Leo to be here and for them to be Manchester City teammates.

So he closes his eyes and he wishes. He wishes harder than he’s ever wished for anything else before in his life.  
  
* * *  
  
Against all odds, he sleeps. He’s still out like a light when his alarm goes off. The sound of it rouses him into immediate consciousness, making him nearly jump out of his skin. When he realises the time, he groans loudly and fumbles around until he gets his hands on his phone.  
  
“Shit,” he exclaims, rubbing his tired eyes with his fingers. There are a ton of missed calls, mainly from Leo. Another call immediately comes through: this time it’s Zaba.  
  
“Kun, where the hell are you at?” He sounds exasperated, as though he’s in the middle of a meltdown. “I’ve been trying to reach you all morning.”  
  
“Alright, calm down man. I’m here now. What’s going on?” Kun is confused, still dazed by the jetlag.  
  
Zaba lets out a little shriek of disbelief. “You mean you don’t know? You seriously don’t know?” His tone of voice is odd and unlike Kun can ever remember him sounding. Suddenly, he feels unsettled.  
  
“I don’t know anything Pablo. Please.” Kun stresses the syllables of each word, trying to prove that for once, he isn’t messing around. “What’s happened?”  
  
“Oh god… I shouldn’t be the one telling you this,” Zaba laments, taking a deep breath. “It’s about Leo.”  
  
Now Kun is on his feet, waves of panic rushing over him. “Leo? What’s wrong with him?”  
  
“There’s nothing wrong. It’s just that his talks with Barça fell through completely,” he says in amazement. “Kun, Leo’s left the club. Well, they’re saying he was forced out, but – he’s left the club. ”  
  
“He’s left?” Now Kun feels weak at the knees, his heart is thudding in his chest.  
  
“Yes,” Zaba confirms. “He’s coming here, to Manchester. To City.”  
  
Kun swallows hard, his breath coming in short pants. “If you’re joking… I’ll never forgive you. _Never_.” He adds emphasis to the last word. This is not a subject that he can tolerate jokes about.  
  
“I’m not. Turn on the TV, turn on your laptop, look at the millions of messages that are no doubt on your phone this morning,” Zaba is speaking more impatiently now. “It’s true, Kun. The news is everywhere. Leo’s signing for City today.”  
  
For the first time in his life, Kun is truly speechless.  
  
* * *  
  
For the next hour Kun is a frantic mess as he tries to get through to Leo. This is the scenario he’s dreamt about so many times, but now it’s happened he’s not sure what to do or how to feel about it. Briefly, he wonders whether or not this means that things will change for him at Manchester City. He pushes the thought away. He’d far rather lose his position as the club’s star striker and have Leo by his side. His racing thoughts are cancelled out by the sound of his phone ringing.  
  
”So, you know everything.” Leo begins.  
  
”I might have been the last person in the world to find out.” Kun laughs with childlike quality.  
  
”I tried to call you, but you were asleep.” There’s a hint of amusement in Leo’s voice.  
  
”Yeah, my boyfriend really tired me out when I was in Argentina. He’s a stud,” Kun says, still able to make innuendos, even at a time like this. Finally, he concedes defeat, speaking apologetically. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me.”  
  
“Don’t worry.” Leo clears his throat. It’s one of his nervous tics, and it makes Kun feel uneasy.  
  
“But I do when it comes to you. I mean this is huge,” Kun acknowledges. “How do you feel?”  
  
”I haven’t slept at all for the past 48 hours,” Leo states wearily. “I feel like… I don’t know what I feel like.” His voice trails off. “They hate me,” he says under his breath. “The rest of the guys at Barça. They hate me for leaving.”  
  
“I’m sure that’s not true. I’m sure they understand that you were put in a difficult position.”  
  
“Maybe that’s true of some of them. Andrés, Masche, Luis… they seemed to get that it was about politics and not about the club.” Leo’s voice is breaking, as though he’s got a lump in his throat. “But Geri… Geri wouldn’t even look me in the eye. He just begged me to stay, and cried like a baby when I said I couldn’t. I’ve never seen him like that before, Kun.”  
  
Kun has never particularly liked Geri. He finds it hard to muster up any sympathy for him, and even feels a wave of irritation because Geri made this day that little bit harder for Leo than it needed to be.  
  
“You have to think about yourself, not him or anyone else.” Kun says the words soothingly, but they’re not without a touch of venom.  
  
“I just… I don’t know,” Leo says sadly, feeling lost. “I know this is what you wanted though.”  
  
“I want you to be happy. Not sad, not like this,” Kun sighs. “But yes, I want us to be together.”  
  
“I guess I’m in shock,” Leo replies faintly. “I can’t take this in.”  
  
“Where are you, babe?” Kun asks, knowing that Leo can’t really talk more candidly until they’re alone.  
  
”In a taxi, going to the Etihad,” he says with a hint of disbelief in his voice. “Except we can’t get anywhere near the place, because all of the roads around it are blocked off.”  
  
”Because of you?”  
  
“Because of me,” he affirms.  
  
They make arrangements to meet up later, but Leo doesn’t know when that will be.  
  
Kun switches on the TV, and he instantly begins to understand just how momentous this occasion truly is. He hasn’t got a translator with him, but he doesn’t need one. The news pictures speak for themselves. Crowds of people are gathering outside the Etihad and along the streets that surround it. Some of the media have been lucky enough to make it inside where the press conference is being held, but there are many more journalists and photographers outside. The coverage is non-stop; it’s as though there is no other news in the whole country. Leo will be having a medical, signing his contract, and then there will be a short press conference before he’s paraded out in front of the lucky people who’ve managed to get inside the stadium. They don’t expect it to happen for another hour or two, but the coverage is continuing all the same.  
  
It’s sheer hysteria, Kun thinks. It’s the kind of craziness he’d expect back in Argentina but not in England. Most of his time in Manchester is spent here surrounded by these four walls. He rests, he drinks mate, and just he waits for the next match day. The relative anonymity is something he cherishes, and it allows him to concentrate on his football without distractions. He has a sinking feeling inside, telling him that Leo isn’t going to get to enjoy the same simple lifestyle that he has over here. In fact, as he studies the news images, he wonders how Leo is even going to get in and out of the Etihad, let alone back to his place later in the day.  
  
* * *  
  
Kun watches the press conference live on an Argentinian website, where it’s being streamed in Spanish. It isn’t an enjoyable experience.  
  
Leo’s face is drained of colour, and he’s bleary-eyed. To the rest of the world he’s just tired, and perhaps a little overwhelmed by the dramatic turn of events. But Kun instinctively knows it runs more deeply than that. Leo is fidgeting as he stares at the hordes of journalists in front of him. He gives them short, generic answers, only saying as little as he can get away with.  
  
“I just want to play my football,” he says this a multitude of times, as well as variations thereof.  
  
They ask him about being reunited with Pep, and about what he hopes to achieve at City. It’s not particularly exciting, but it’s the kind of stuff that fans love hearing about. Kun perks up a little when he hears his name mentioned.  
  
“Did Kun influence your decision to come and play here at all?” One journalist asks.  
  
“Of course, he’s told me a lot about the Premiership. It’s also great to be playing alongside someone that I’m so close to,” Leo replies.  
  
Normally Kun would find himself relishing in any kind of public declaration made by Leo regarding himself, but today he’s just relieved when the press conference comes to an end.  
  
* * *  
  
It’s around 11pm by the time a car brings Leo to Kun’s house. He’s never been more grateful for living in a gated community. The club have decided to rent out the empty house next door for Leo to live in, but Kun hopes that means they’ll basically be living together.  
  
He paces the room, feeling positively wired with energy. He’s battling so many feelings – excitement, disbelief and euphoria. At the same time he is aware that Leo is suffering right now, and that it’s his job to be the person who makes that better.  
  
Once they’re alone, Leo lets himself flop into Kun’s arms, leaning on him with all of his weight.  
  
“Baby, you’re exhausted.” Kun buries his head against Leo’s neck, breathing in the scent of his skin. He savours the closeness, having prepared himself for the prospect of being without Leo for months on end. Relief rushes through him.  
  
“Yeah,” Leo barely has the energy to say the word, but his fingers work their way into Kun’s hair, and he moves his mouth towards his for a soft kiss.  
  
“I can’t believe you’re here with me and that this is real.” Kun’s eyes glisten with emotion.  
  
Leo smiles, but it’s a sad smile. In many ways he is Kun’s opposite. He is quiet and calm, whereas Kun is chatty and excitable. Kun has no problem with sobbing in front of the world when things don’t go right on the pitch, whereas Leo cries his tears in private, away from the cameras and prying eyes. Leo takes several sharp breaths, as though he’s trying to compose himself. He starts shaking uncontrollably.  
  
“You’re scaring me,” Kun looks at him anxiously. “You really need to rest.”  
  
“I… I don’t think I can,” Leo’s face reddens, as he allows Kun to walk him up the stairs towards the bedroom. “What have I done?”  
  
Panic floods through Kun like a tidal wave. They’re both sitting on the edge of the bed now, but Leo won’t meet Kun’s eyes with his own.  
  
“It’ll be okay, I promise.” Kun says it with more conviction than he feels. “It wasn’t your fault; we both know that neither of us can control what goes on in the world of football.”  
  
Terror is etched all over Leo’s face. “What have I done?” He repeats. “I should have taken the contract they offered. I can’t believe I thought coming here was the better option. I want to go home.”  
  
Once the first tear falls onto Leo’s cheek, it’s as though he can’t stop himself. Lowering his head into his hands, violent sobs erupt from deep within his chest. His pale face instantly becomes red and swollen from crying so hard. Soon his breaths are raspy and fast, and Kun’s scared that Leo won’t be able to breathe at all if he carries on this way.  
  
It’s one of the most heartbreaking sights he’s ever witnessed. In that moment Kun acknowledges the feelings he’s tried to bury. Leo being in Manchester is wrong and they’re doomed. This whole matter will tear them apart.  
  
* * *  
  
The sound of Leo’s phone ringing rouses Kun into an uneasy state of consciousness. His face is half hidden by the duvet as he peers over at Leo with his deep brown eyes, regarding him closely.  
  
“Luisito,” Leo speaks softly into his phone from the other side of the room. “It’s good to hear your voice. How is everyone?”  
  
Kun can’t pick out any of the words, but he can hear the male voice chattering away enthusiastically on the other end of the line. It unnerves him slightly, the fact that no one at Barcelona seems able to cut ties with Leo. If he had known then that the phone calls from Spain were to become a daily occurrence, it would have unnerved him even more.  
  
Leo listens intently, his mind fixed on whatever words of wisdom Luis is delivering. He murmurs his agreement with his points from time to time, never once turning away to look back at Kun.  
  
“I’m okay,” Leo states at one point. “It’s way harder than I thought it would be, even with Kun being here.”  
  
A few moments later and Leo’s laughing, the conversation seems to have taken a lighter tone.  
  
“Ney’s there? Put him on,” Leo says enthusiastically, giggling as he jokes with the Brazilian striker. He speaks to a few of the other guys, seemingly energised by their obvious affection for him and the familiarity of it all.  
  
Finally, he asks, “Geri? Let me speak to Geri.” But his face drops when the defender apparently declines the offer. “It’s okay if he’s busy, Luis, I get it.”  But Leo’s eyes flash full of hurt.  
  
Kun sinks back onto the mattress, closing his eyes. It’s only when Leo hovers over him that he realises the phone call is over. Leo leans down and places a soft, lingering kiss to Kun’s lips.  
  
“Wake up, sleepyhead.” A smile spreads across Leo’s face as he crawls on top of Kun, only the bedcovers separating them.  
  
“Is everything okay?” Kun asks groggily, rubbing his eyes.  
  
“Yeah.” Leo’s face is blank for a moment. “It’s just kind of weird, Geri isn’t speaking to me and I have no idea why.”  
  
“Maybe it’s because he’s a jerk.” Kun narrows his eyes.  
  
Leo manages a confused smile. “But he’s never been a jerk to me – we go back way too far. He had to walk away from the club once, too. I just thought that out of everybody there, he’d understand what I’ve been going through the most.” Leo shrugs, trying to shake off his disappointment in Geri’s negativity.  
  
“Well, you aren’t getting rid of me so easily,” Kun smirks.  
  
Leo leans down and kisses him again, before pulling away.  
  
“Don’t tease me,” Kun moans.  
  
“I won’t make you suffer, since we don’t have time. Come on, get up,” Leo sighs.  
  
“You seem to be feeling better,” Kun says, looking at Leo with interest.  
  
“I am.” Leo nods defiantly. “I didn’t want to leave Barça. I was comfortable there, it was my home. I was forced into making a decision I didn’t want to make. But I’m going to make the best of this, and I’m going to make the best of being with you.”  
  
“Promises, promises,” Kun grins, though inwardly he’s battling with a feeling of uncertainty that just won’t go away.  
  
“Come on, it’s time to go.” Leo pulls the covers back and laughs as Kun recoils, shivering.  
  
“Ten more minutes,” he whines.  
  
“Kun!” Leo exclaims. “I’m not being late on my first day!”  
  
“You’re never late; you’re such a teacher’s pet.” Kun pouts some more, but he does as he’s told and gets up.  
  
“I guess you’re going to have to get used to someone else running your schedule for you.” Leo smirks.  
  
“You’re lucky I love you so much.” Kun grins.  
  
* * *  
  
“This is going to be interesting,” Kun announces as he finishes parking up the car.  
  
“How so?” Leo raises his eyebrows.  
  
“I want to see who loses their shit over you being here first,” he says teasingly.  
  
“You’re so mean.” Leo is looking around, taking in his surroundings. “Besides, we all know you did that already.”  
  
“I did not.” Kun sticks his tongue out.  
  
He's surprised when Leo’s better mood continues right through the day. Moving to Manchester was the ultimate culture shock for him, yet Leo seems to be taking everything in his stride. This is a very different Leo to the one Kun witnessed breaking down mere hours ago. That sits uneasily with him, but they have a hectic few days ahead, and he isn’t in a position to do anything about it.  
  
When they walk into the changing room there is a mixture of nervous giggling and awe from the other players. Kun turns around and looks at Leo knowingly, as if to say, ‘I told you so’.  
  
The skipper is the first one to get up to shake Leo’s hand.  
  
“Welcome,” he says warmly. “We’re all so happy to have you here.”  
  
Vinnie is aware of Joe Hart standing closely beside him. He lets out a heavy sigh and turns to look up at him.  
  
“Joe,” Vinnie says warningly to the goalkeeper, his voice low. “You’ve met Leo before, this is stupid. Get it together man. Don’t embarrass yourself.”  
  
The blonde haired goalkeeper is uncharacteristically silent, standing over Leo nervously.  
  
“I…” he stammers.  
  
Leo looks to his newly appointed translator who shrugs and says, “He’s not saying anything, he’s just making noises.”  
  
“I…” Joe repeats, his eyes filling with tears as he stares down adoringly at the Argentine. Kun watches on from a corner, lacing his boots up slowly.  
  
“Si?” Leo asks patiently, eyes fixed on Joe.  
  
“I’m just so glad you’re here,” Joe pulls Leo into a tight embrace, almost smothering the smaller man completely with his strength. “Thank you,” he sniffs, rubbing Leo’s back. “Thank you for joining the club and for making my dreams come true.”  
  
Leo’s hair is messy and standing on end as Joe finally frees him. He’s blushing and grinning as his translator conveys Joe’s words.  
  
“Gracias,” he says warmly, finding that in spite of himself, he means it. He and Joe have always had respect for one another, and he doubts that the big man makes a habit of showing his feelings so openly.  
  
“That wasn’t so bad,” Leo says to Kun as they run out onto the training pitch.  
  
“I feel embarrassed for Joe.” He shakes his head, laughing to himself.  
  
“I like him,” Leo announces.  
  
“Well, don’t be getting any ideas,” Kun says sternly. “I won’t have you cheating on me.”  
  
Kun glances around at the City TV cameras and the many pairs of eyes watching him and Leo. It’s nothing new, but it’s intense all the same. Before his very eyes, Leo relaxes as he starts to kick the ball. Kun is relieved. He knows that all Leo wants to do is to play football: Leo needs football like he needs air. The other lads on the field have more hunger in their eyes than Kun’s ever seen before, thanks to their newest teammate. It gives him more hope than he had an hour ago that this will work out.  
  
Leo being here isn’t what he expected, but he knows that this training session will give Leo the kind of motivation that drives him on. He’s here to win things; going home empty-handed at the end of the season simply isn’t an option. It isn’t a lot, but Leo’s contentment on the pitch is enough for now.  
  
* * *  
  
Their first league match of the season is away to Swansea. When the City team run out onto the pitch to warm up, the roar of the crowd is overwhelming. The match is a complete sell out as Swansea’s residents are eager to see British football’s most-famous-signing-ever.  
  
Kun and Leo warm up with their little group of Argentinian and Spanish-speaking teammates. There’s no doubt that having that group around has helped Leo to settle in. All of the cheering and all of the excitement is caused by Messi’s presence. When the City fans drown out the noise by chanting ‘Sergio Agüero’, Kun feels an affection and a gratitude for them that he’s never felt before. It gives him butterflies in his stomach. The fans have always treated him like a king, but he knows then that he is irreplaceable to them, and that not even Leo can take his legacy away. Kun finds himself laughing as the Swansea mascot, Cyril the Swan, pulls Leo into a hug and takes a selfie with him.  
  
“I told you that this match would be a wake-up call for you,” Kun says as they’re waiting in the tunnel, seconds before kick-off. “Things are very different here in England.”  
  
“I love how small the ground is,” Leo says, looking towards the pitch and the stands, seemingly enraptured. “It’s like you can hear everything that’s being said because you’re that close to the fans.”  
  
“Hmm,” Kun murmurs. “You might not want to hear what’s being said once you score against them.”  
  
“No, it’s the passion that I like.” Leo is insistent. “It makes you feel alive.”  
  
“Oh yeah, they’re passionate alright.” Kun gives a wry laugh.  
  
“I mean it Kun,” Leo stresses. “This atmosphere is special. It makes my hair stand on end.”  
  
Kun is used to being the lone striker for City. Even though Leo chooses to play a little more deeply just as he did at Barça, there’s still some adjusting for the front two to do before they work together seamlessly.  
  
The goals start going in around the half-hour mark. Kun fires a header into the top right corner, sending the City fans into a frenzy. Ten minutes later Messi nets his first goal for the club. It’s a long-range effort that has the opposition goalkeeper scrambling. He can’t stop it, and the City fans are delirious with happiness. Kun is the first man to reach him as they celebrate.  
  
  
* * *  
  
Slowly but surely they settle into a routine. They wake up and go to training together each morning. In the afternoon, Leo has English lessons.  
  
“ _The girl is reading a book_ ,” Leo enunciates carefully, pronouncing each word slowly. “ _She reads a book_.”  
  
“Very good, Leo!” his English tutor declares, a smile spreading across his face. “You’re picking this up really quickly.”  
  
There is a loud noise as Kun bites into an apple. He has his feet up on the couch in the opposite corner of the room, and he’s playing a game on his iPad. Leo glances over at him with slight irritation.  
  
“Don’t go telling people he’s good,” Kun warns. “If you tell them you can’t speak much English like me, then they can’t make you do as many interviews.”  
  
“It’s not my fault I’m smarter than you.” Leo laughs. “And you know, there’s the fact that it’s nice to understand what’s going on around you.”  
  
“I know what’s going on around me!” Kun claims. “Do you think that I’ve been oblivious to everything that’s been going on for the last five years?”  
  
Leo and his English tutor exchange amused looks.  
  
“Teacher’s pet,” Kun fires back. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”  
  
* * *  
  
No one at City seems to mind the fact that Kun and Leo do everything together. In fact, no one so much as comments on it. There are those who know that they are a couple, and many more who suspect it. Kun makes a habit of being around whenever Leo is filming something or doing an appearance for the club. He’s always there, lingering in the background. Today he’s got his feet up on an armchair, iPad in hand as he waits for Leo to finish up a City TV segment.  
  
The man they call Chappy has been smiling and staring at Leo for the last 15 minutes.  
  
“I’m sorry for the delay, mate,” he says in his thick Lancashire accent. “They bloody promised me those mince pies would be here, now we’ve had to send somebody to Morrisons to fetch some more,” he complains.  
  
Leo shoots helpless looks between Chappy and his translator. The room they’re sitting in is covered in fake snow and tinsel, and fairy lights are flashing on a large Christmas tree.  
  
“But it is only the second week of November,” Leo says in perfect, if accented, English.  
  
“Yes yes, but we have to do everything early around here,” Chappy states loudly. “It’s a bugger trying to get everybody organised.”  
  
After a little help from his translator, Leo laughs and nods his head to show that he understands. He’s not sure that he will ever get used to the strange way that things are done around here, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like it. Manchester has a certain charm that even he has warmed to.  
  
Kun lets out a little gasp of horror as he loses yet another game on his iPad. He starts another one, oblivious to what’s being said in the conversation.  
  
“So Leo, how are you doing mate?” Chappy asks warmly. “It’s an honour to see you playing football here,” he continues.  
  
“Yes, I like it very much,” Leo smiles as he replies.  
  
“Do you miss Barcelona?” Chappy enquires curiously. “Sorry, that was a daft question. It must be weird for you being here when you were there for so many years.”  
  
“Yes, I miss it.” Leo looks down slightly. “But I also like Manchester and doing my job here.”  
  
“You’re a true professional. One of the best I’ve ever seen,” Chappy says kindly. “You’re a great ambassador. You’ve given all the kids in this country hope. I’ve got no doubt that you’re still trying to work things out with Barcelona, but I’m bloody glad that we got you, even if it is only for one season. Bloody idiots they are for letting you go, and for not treating you properly. ”  
  
The brash words from this English man mean more to Leo than he can express. He has no idea how to respond. Ten minutes later he tries really, really hard to make it look like he’s enjoying his mince pie. Truth be told, he thinks it’s disgusting.  
  
* * *  
  
“I want to go to the beach.” Leo makes this announcement out of the blue, and Kun stares back at him with wide eyes, a look of amusement spreading onto his face.  
  
“Leo, there are no beaches here.” He laughs, continuing to eat his breakfast.  
  
“But that’s not true is it? Not technically.” Leo points out. “We’re practically right against the west coast of England.” Finally he says, “I want to go to Blackpool.”  
  
“Leo, it’s nearly the end of November. We’ll freeze to death!” Kun says dramatically.  
  
“It’s our day off and I want to do something.” Leo is utterly insistent. He pushes his half-finished plate of breakfast towards the centre of the table.  
  
“You can stay here, with me, where it’s warm. What more could you possibly want other than my presence?” Kun smirks confidently. “We could go back to bed.”  
  
“But I want to do something special with you. We never do anything different.” Leo struggles to keep the annoyance from his voice.  
  
“What if we get recognised? What if people bother us?” Kun reels off the excuses easily.  
  
“Then we’ll come home.” Leo cuts in confidently. “Please Kun. Let’s just go out in the car. We can drive past the beach and look at it; maybe if it’s quiet we can stop for an ice cream.”  
  
“An ice cream?” Kun starts to laugh, but then he sees the hope in Leo’s eyes. It’s sad to see him almost pleading for this trip to happen. “Fine! Fine, okay, we’ll go. But if we get hypothermia, then this is on you not me. I’m not taking the blame. ”  
  
Leo grins and pulls Kun into a tight hug.  
  
It’s not a beach by Kun’s standards. As they overlook the sandy shores from their car parking space, both men frown. The bay is covered in litter and debris blown in by the November gales.  
  
“So do you want to go for a swim?” Kun asks mischievously, gesturing towards the not so blue sea.  
  
“Look,” Leo says, a faint smile on his lips. “Isn’t that the Pleasure Beach?” He points at the large rollercoaster that towers over the Blackpool skyline.  
  
“Yeah, but it’s closed at this time of year,” Kun says sarcastically.  
  
“Come on,” Leo says, opening the door. “Let’s go for a walk.” He’s already out of the car door fastening his coat up before Kun has a chance to refuse.  
  
They’re lucky because the beach is deserted. Only a couple of beachside food vendors have opted to try their luck opening today. With his newly acquired grasp of the English language, Leo orders a small carton of ice cream. He selects some rainbow sprinkles and strawberry syrup to go on top of it, much to Kun’s amazement. He grabs a plastic spoon for each of them enthusiastically.  
  
The icy wind blows spots of rain into their faces as they walk along the seafront. Leo still cradles the ice cream carefully in his hands, as though it’s the most precious thing in the world. Kun finds a large rock for them to sit on. For a while, there is only the noise of the waves lashing against the land as both men spoon ice cream into their mouths, enjoying the simple pleasure of a forbidden treat.  
  
“Are you having fun?” Leo asks, his eyes settling on Kun.  
  
“Yes,” he replies with certainty. “Actually, I am.”  
  
“I told you it would be good.” Leo grins as they look at one another.  
  
“Everything is good when I’m with you.” Kun smirks, moving in a little closer.  
  
Leo’s phone rings. Kun’s mouth falls into a frown. He was on the verge of stealing an ice cream flavoured kiss.  
  
“Luis, can I call you back?” Leo is speaking calmly. “I’m at the beach with Kun, we’re having a day out together,” he smiles. “Yes, it is pretty cold, but we're having a good time. I’ll speak to you later.”

“He still calls you every day, huh?” Kun remarks, his heart sinking a little.  
  
“Yeah,” Leo nods, but he stares down at the empty ice cream tub, as if he can make it magically fill up again.  
  
“Leo,” Kun begins hesitantly, “can I ask you something?”  
  
“Sure,” he responds.  
  
“You and Luis… have you ever? I mean, are you more than just friends?” Suddenly Kun feels as though the air around him is too tight to breathe in.  
  
Leo splutters, unable to hold back a laugh. “You’re kidding, right? Luis and me?” he asks. “No. Never. No way.”  
  
“I just thought…” Kun starts. “Because he calls you all the time – “  
  
“That’s gross,” Leo makes a disgusted face. “I can’t ever imagine being with Luis. Besides, I’ve never seen a couple more in love than him and Sofia are. They’re soulmates.”  
  
“I’m sorry.” Kun drops his voice to a whisper, face reddening with embarrassment.  
  
“Luis and I have always been good friends,” Leo states. “He’s always been great with me. At least he still wants to talk to me.”  
  
“And Geri doesn't?” Kun knows instantly from Leo’s reaction that he’s hit the nail on the head.  
  
“Yeah,” he confirms, sadness in his eyes.  
  
“I’m sorry.” Kun tries to mean it, he really tries to mean it. “Did you ever find out why he stopped talking to you?”  
  
“Not really.” Leo looks into the distance. “It doesn’t make any sense. I stayed in touch with him when he went to Manchester United. It’s just baffling.”  
  
“Told you he was a jerk.”  
  
“He’s not that bad,” Leo chimes in quickly. “Not when you get to know him. You’ll never win an argument with him though,” he laughs lightly.  
  
“Yeah well, I don’t like the fact that he’s upsetting you right now.”  
  
“I’m not just upset, I’m confused,” Leo says, turning to face Kun. “I’m angry too, because the last few months have been some of the hardest of my life. Instead of being there for me, he chose to cut our ties.”  
  
Every time Kun looks at Leo he can still see the sadness within him, like a fire that can’t be extinguished.  
  
“You have me,” he says softly, hoping that it is enough.  
  
* * *  
  
Kun is used to not having a Christmas break, but the fact that they’re stuck in England for the holidays hits Leo like a ton of bricks. He longs to be in Argentina and talks of the weather, the food and his family often. Kun’s never known him to be so homesick before. By the time Three Kings Day comes around they’ll already be well into their hectic January schedule, so they both fly in as many relatives as they can for Christmas Day. The table is packed as Kun’s Argentinian chef lays on a special meal for them all. It’s nice, but Kun senses Leo’s growing discontent.  
  
Boxing Day is a different story, because they’re back playing football again, and Leo’s never unhappy when he’s on the pitch. City beat Arsenal 1-0 at the Etihad to go top of the table. All the lads know how important it is to be leading the Premiership at this point of the season, and City are the odds on favourites to win the title.  
  
“If you’re not completely exhausted by the end of January, then I’ll start believing that what they say about you not being human is true.” Kun laughs.  
  
Since City are still in every competition, the January schedule equates to a match roughly every three days.  
  
“I say bring it on,” Leo says defiantly, with fire in his eyes. This is what makes him tick. He’s never thrived on the competition so much. His hunger for that is the only thing that stops him from lamenting everything he’s left behind in Barcelona.  
  
Leo is happy to drift into Kun’s long-since established routine of training, playing football, resting and not having the time to do much else in between. Their striking partnership only goes from strength to strength because of the deep bond that they share.  
  
Sometimes Kun lets himself believe that everything is okay, and that Leo is happy here. He pretends he doesn’t know about the hushed conversations Leo has with his father about ironing out a new deal in Spain. Kun dreads the day that he will have to let Leo go again. It arrives sooner than he thinks.  
  
* * *  
  
It comes as a shock to Kun when the chinks begin to show in Leo’s armour. He’s always regarded him as the ultimate professional, and as someone who is able to put personal feelings aside when it comes to the game.  
  
They’re both dripping wet, having just stepped out of the showers. The team are on a high because Leo scored a hat trick against FC Porto, guaranteeing them a place in the last eight of the Champions League.  
  
“We’re going to get Barcelona next,” Joe says as he puts a clean shirt on. “I’ve just got that feeling.”  
  
Leo’s face visibly drops. He looks as though he’s about to pass out. It’s not that he hasn’t considered the possibility before, but he’s tried to push it to the back of his mind. All of his contentment is extinguished by Joe’s comment.  
  
“Oh dear,” Joe says, biting his bottom lip. “Me and my big mouth.”  
  
“It’s okay Harty,” Leo replies, pronouncing the goalkeeper’s nickname with a unique accent. He registers the way Joe’s cheeks turn to the brightest shade of red each and every time he speaks to him. Normally, it would make him smile. But not today.  
  
Two days later when the draw is made, they get Barcelona. It’s as if it is fate.  
  
“I can’t do this.” Leo massages his temples with the tips of his fingers as they get in the car to drive home. It’s the first time he’s spoken since the draw was announced.  
  
“You can’t do what?” Kun tenses as he puts his hands on the steering wheel, struggling to keep the annoyance from his voice. “You can’t do your job?”  
  
“You’re being unfair.” Beads of sweat gather on Leo’s forehead.  
  
“No – _you’re_ being unfair,” Kun fires back. “And you’re being unprofessional.” Kun isn’t sure why Leo’s divided loyalty gets to him so much, but it does. He isn’t prepared to let this drop.  
  
“Unprofessional?” Leo’s voice cracks. “How dare you fucking say that to me? Do you know how disrespectful you’re being?”  
  
“You’re not being very respectful to your current teammates and the club that are paying your wages.” The words are harsh, and Kun says them with irritating superiority.  
  
“My heart is blaugrana,” Leo states simply. “It always will be, and nothing you do or say can change that. Now take me home.”  
  
That night Leo chooses to sleep in his rented house rather than at Kun’s.  
  
* * *  
  
The first leg of the Champion’s league tie is at Camp Nou, on a perfect spring evening in April. Leo is sick three times before he even manages to get his kit on in the changing room. Kun rubs his back, face etched with concern.  
  
“I’m fine,” Leo says, waving a hand dismissively as he sips on a bottle of water. But he isn’t. He’s anything but fine. That still doesn’t excuse him from having to play.  
  
Luis and Neymar are the first to come over and hug Leo before the match begins. They seem to start a chain reaction. Soon everybody from the coaching staff to the guys on the substitutes bench come over to pay their respects to Leo, and to tell him how much they miss him. The noise in the tunnel is overwhelming. Joe is rallying the troops one by one, yelling encouragement. Kun and Leo are always the last two players to walk out, but tonight Kun is constantly assessing Leo’s reactions. At one point he wonders if he is going to have to physically hold him up. 'El Cant del Barça' further weakens Leo’s defences, causing him to tear up. He turns his head away sharply from the cameras before they have the chance to capture his moment of vulnerability.  
  
Leo’s still struggling to hold back tears throughout the pre-match handshakes. Nearly all of the Barça players touch his face or hug him, offering comfort despite the fact they’re on opposing sides.  
  
“It’ll be okay. I love you,” Kun whispers in Leo’s ear moments before kick-off. Leo just stares back at him vacantly, as though he’s no awareness of his own surroundings. It sends a cold shiver down Kun’s back, and he is tormented by the unease of it.  
  
FC Barcelona win the match 2-0. Neither Kun nor Leo barely get a look in. It’s rare that they can even get the ball into Barcelona’s half. As the full-time whistle blows at 90 minutes, Kun hangs his head in shame, frustrated and embarrassed by the performance. Leo can’t react. He’s stuck in a stupor. He barely registers the fact that the Barcelona fans are chanting his name and waving banners begging him to come home.  
  
Iniesta and Mascherano are waiting for them in the tunnel. Kun hugs Masche, and leans against the wall drinking his water, never taking his eyes off Leo. Masche rubs Kun’s shoulder, and Kun senses that he’s trying to convey some sort of sympathy towards him, as if he knows that all is not right. It doesn’t take long for a crowd to build up. Most of the Barcelona players hang back from going to the dressing room so that they can catch up with Leo.  
  
Luis hugs Leo for a long time, comforting him. “You did well tonight,” he whispers. “I know that it can’t have been easy for you.”  
  
Kun knows that Leo won’t be feeling very proud of himself right now. It is the first time he’s smiled all evening though, and he gradually seems to be coming back to himself now that the pressure of the match is over.  
  
Geri tears past the gathered group briskly. It’s clear that he doesn’t want to stop.  Leo reaches out a hand and tries to grab him, only for Geri to push it away. Such an open display of coldness is too much for Leo to take.  
  
“Geri,” he calls out after him, looking crestfallen when he receives no reply. “Why don’t you man up and talk to me?”  
  
The Catalan turns to face Leo, his expression solemn. He takes several measured breaths. “What is there to say?”  
  
Kun rolls his eyes, feeling embarrassment rise within him over the fact that everyone is witnessing this very public argument.  
  
Leo, on the other hand, has been waiting for this. For months his annoyance has being eating away at him, threatening to consume him. The imaginary bubble he’s enclosed himself in during his time at Manchester City suddenly bursts.  
  
“Maybe you could start by telling me what the fuck it is that I’m supposed to have done wrong?”  
  
“You left,” Geri says venomously. “Instead of working things out properly like you should have done, you packed up your bags and you left.”  
  
“Because I had no fucking choice. I was backed into a corner,” Leo states bitterly, shaking his head in disbelief. “Even though it hurts, I can understand why I lost the support of the club directors. It’s political. It happens. But _you_?”  
  
Geri simply shrugs his shoulders dismissively. Then he does it again; he tries to turn around and walk away.  
  
In a moment of madness, Leo pushes him hard in the back with the palms of his hands. As Geri stumbles forward, more stunned than anything else, several of the other players throw their bodies in the way to try to keep the two of them apart.  
  
With so much male pride at stake, the situation escalates quickly, turning into a scuffle.  
  
“What’s wrong with you?” Kun directs his comment at Geri, who still hasn’t physically reacted at all. He charges towards him like a Rottweiler that’s just been let off its leash.  
  
“Your boyfriend just pushed me for no reason.” Geri spits the words out angrily.  
  
“You deserve everything you get.” Kun fires back.  
  
They’re mere inches from one another now, Geri towering over his far shorter adversary. If they were to come to blows it would be a very mismatched fight.  
  
“Alright, that’s enough.” Masche gets in the middle of them. He’s pretty sure that his kids handle their quarrels better than these men do.  
  
“Come on Kun,” Leo urges him softly, draping an arm around his waist.  
  
Geri glares at Kun and Leo as Luis and Masche drag him away.  
  
* * *  
  
The next six days blur into one another. They don’t talk about the confrontation with Geri. It’s not the first time football has turned men from friends into enemies. Kun tries to rest, but it’s almost impossible with Leo battling chronic insomnia. He wakes Kun up several times a night with his tossing and turning. During the day he says very little, or nothing at all. If Kun tries to reason with him, the pair of them end up arguing. It gets worse each day leading up to the match. Kun wonders when things between Leo and him turned into this. It used to be so effortless, so easy. They brought each other nothing but happiness. The more he tries to fix the cracks in their relationship, the more appear.  
  
It’s Wednesday morning and City are having their final training session before the evening’s match against Barcelona. Leo is as white as a sheet and moves as though he is a zombie. He goes through the motions of warming up and doing his drills, but he’s vacant somehow, it’s like he isn’t really there. As he sits in the changing room he stares into the distance, as though he’s in deep contemplation.  
  
“Leo.” Kun looks at him with a mixture of sympathy and horror. “You can’t go on like this, you’re going to make yourself ill. How on earth you going to play tonight?”  
  
“I’ll be fine.” He rubs his forehead, grimacing in Kun’s direction.  
  
“No. I should say something to Pep or one of the others.” There is a slight hesitancy in his words, as though he doesn’t want to betray Leo’s confidence. But they’re also etched with deep concern.  
  
“Don’t say anything.” Leo’s defiant, speaking sternly. “I can do this. I have to do this.”  
  
“Your wellbeing is more important to me than this match,” Kun says delicately.  
  
“Nothing is more important than the Champions League,” Leo states.  
  
Despite their recent arguments and the way that Kun feels about Barcelona, he isn’t sure he agrees.  
  
* * *  
  
It’s the biggest crowd Manchester City have ever had for a European game. Even though the odds are stacked against them, the fans have come out in force hoping to see a miracle. It wouldn’t be the first time, but it is a big ask.  
  
Benjamin is a mascot, so Kun is preoccupied with him before kick-off. He wants to make sure his son has the best evening possible. That doesn’t mean that he’s not worried about Leo’s state of mind – quite the opposite. Thoughts of Leo never leave his head. He finds himself wondering if Leo is being comforted by the Barça players. If that is the case, then his presence wouldn’t even be missed.  
  
The game starts out slowly and hesitantly. It’s as though players on neither side trust themselves enough not to make the first mistake. Barcelona dominate the possession and the City players grow frustrated as once again, they are unable to get hold of the ball.  
  
At half time it’s still 0-0, and Pep tries to fire the squad up. He urges them to press forward, telling them that the win is well within their grasp, and that they’re not out of this yet.  
  
Kun is distracted and he isn’t really listening. “Are you okay?” he whispers to Leo.  
  
Leo nods dismissively but urgently, desperate not to draw any attention to himself.  
  
In the second half City push harder. They come out like a side that have nothing to lose, and with all guns blazing. David Silva catches Barça snoozing and makes a beautiful pass to Leo. Leo outsmarts Mascherano, ducking and weaving around him with the ball.  
  
There is only one more man between him and the goalkeeper. Few people know Geri’s game better than Leo. Time seems to slow down as Leo is running towards him. Their eyes meet, and Leo does something he’s never done in front of goal before: he hesitates. Geri doesn’t look back at him as if he’s a foe. Instead he nods, gesturing for Leo to try and take the shot. Leo closes his eyes, aware of the dryness in his throat. He kicks the ball with his favoured left foot, and fires it into the back of the net. He thinks it’s one of the weirdest goals he’s ever scored.  
  
The roar from the City fans is deafening. Leo lets Kun hug him, knowing that it’s more about comfort than a disrespectful celebration in front of his former teammates. He waves a hand dismissively to signal that it’s enough. He grabs the ball and runs back with it to the centre mark. Dazed and confused, he isn’t even sure how he gets there, but he does. He can’t bring himself to look into anyone else’s eyes, regardless of what shirt they are wearing. In his mind, he’s a traitor to all of them.  
  
Leo’s single goal isn’t enough. Barça go through, once again breaking the hearts of the City fans. When Kun turns to hug Leo at the end of the match, he isn’t there. He’s already made his way back into the tunnel without stopping to talk to any of the other players. His heart sinks, and suddenly Kun’s the one who is unsure of himself. He’s not sure he can do this anymore. He can’t patch up the irreparable damage that’s reduced his relationship with Leo to petty arguments and childish jealousy. He doesn’t want to be held responsible for holding him back.  
  
Once he’s off the pitch, he knows he has to go and find Leo. However bad things are between them, he owes him that. When he can’t see him quickly, the feeling of worry rises in his stomach.  
  
“Papa!” Benjamin comes running towards him, his arms outstretched as he throws himself in for a hug. “I’m so sorry you lost.”  
  
Kun rubs Benjamin’s hair with his fingers and buries his head against his neck, closing his eyes as if to shut out the world. “It’s okay,” he says softly, offering comfort towards his son rather than himself. Ben is his biggest joy, and the purest thing in his life. He often thinks the greatest thing he ever did was to bring his son into the world.  
  
When he opens his eyes, he sees Leo walking towards the end of the corridor. He watches on helplessly.  
  
“Let me take him.” Kun peers across at David Silva, who is whispering to him. “Go and talk to Leo.”  
  
Kun mouths a thank you. David has always been Ben’s favourite City player.  
  
Kun is seconds away from catching up with Leo. As he makes his way around the corner, he’s about to call out his name. Someone else grabs Leo’s attention first. It’s Geri. Kun stays where he is and watches. He knows he shouldn’t, but he can’t stop himself. Somehow he doubts that either of them want to have a public argument again.  
  
For a moment it’s as though these two men who are so familiar with one another have no idea what to say. Geri watches Leo with his hands on his hips, lips slightly parted. His piercing blue eyes stare into him, as though he’s looking at Leo’s very soul.  
  
“Geri,” Leo whispers shakily. He begins to approach his former teammate uncertainly, the memory of their week-old confrontation raw and vivid in his mind.  
  
Geri says nothing, but suddenly he wraps his long arms around Leo, embracing him so tightly that it looks like he could suffocate him. Kun wonders if he’s ever going to let him go.  
  
Leo rests his head on Geri’s chest, leaning against him with all of his weight. He searches his mind the words, but they won’t come to him.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Geri speaks softly, and with surprising affection.  
  
“You’re sorry?” Leo pulls back to look up at him. “I don’t understand – all of these months, you’ve been such a dick to me. Now I’ve scored against you and you want to hug it out?”  
  
Geri rubs the sides of Leo’s arms with his long fingers. He makes a choking noise as he struggles to keep his composure. “I’m sorry,” he repeats. “I was wrong. I was so wrong. I wanted to hate you for leaving, but I couldn’t.”  
  
“You’re not making sense,” Leo sighs. “I _had_ to leave. I had to stand my ground and walk away from the situation at Barça, because there was no good way to fix it. They said I was done – they said I was past my prime, so I had to prove to them that I wasn’t. How else could I have done it?”  
  
“But that means you left _me_ ,” Geri says sadly. “I’ve always felt this way about you. It was bad enough when I left Barcelona for the first time. When I came back you’d grown up. You were sleeping with Kun and you didn’t need me anymore. But I thought, maybe—” He exhales.  
  
“I never stopped needing you Geri.” Leo doesn’t realise how much he means the words until he says them. “I feel like I’ve needed you even more since being in Manchester. I was counting on your support.”  
  
“I let you down,” Geri says sadly, eyes full of remorse.  
  
“And now we’re here, having this conversation, each of us playing for different teams.” Leo shakes his head in disbelief. “I feel as though we’re living in a parallel universe where everything has been turned upside down.”  
  
“Tell me about it,” Geri sighs softly.  
  
Leo starts to look distressed again. “Everything’s wrong, Geri. This whole season… everything that’s happened,” he sighs dramatically. “I shouldn’t be wearing this City shirt and playing against the club that I love.”  
  
“You played well tonight,” Geri corrects him almost immediately. “I’m proud of you for scoring against us.”  
  
“I don’t feel proud.” Leo lowers his head. “It was wrong on so many levels. I want to be sick.”  
  
Leo sinks back into Geri’s arms and they just hold each other, their bodies rocking as they seek comfort in one another. Both of them are crying. To Kun, these few moments feel like hours.  
  
“I love you,” Geri whispers through his tears. “I’ve always loved you, and it took you going away to make me realise just how much.”  
  
“Wow.” Leo smiles nervously, his face reddening. It's an overwhelming declaration, one that makes his heart race and his hands shake. Even after all of these years of them knowing each other, Leo never saw this coming. He’s aware of Geri’s eyes on him, expectant and hopeful. If he reciprocates the gesture, then it changes absolutely everything.  
  
“Leo?" Geri whispers, his voice unsteady.  
  
“I love you, too. I really, truly, do.” As stoic as Leo can be, he also possesses a big heart. Somehow, despite being an idiot for the past season, Geri has won it.  
  
“So what are we going to do now?” Geri asks.  
  
“I’m going to finish up my season here, and then I’m going to come home.” Leo knows that he’s talking about more than just returning to his footballing home. He is racked with guilt, aware that this is an act of betrayal. But this conversation with Geri is the first thing that’s made sense in a long time.  
  
Geri smiles, stroking Leo’s hair gently. “You have Kun.” He points out gently. “Think about how far you go back with him.”  
  
“I go back even further with you,” Leo admits truthfully.  
  
Kun turns and walks back to where David is playing with his son. He’s heard enough. He knows that however much he loves Leo, they cannot recover from this.  
  
* * *  
  
Leo is at the bottom of the stairs. It’s been an exhausting night and he’s about to go and get ready for bed. Kun is quietly closing the door to Benjamin’s room behind him.  
  
“Did he fall asleep?” Leo asks. Kun nods silently, rage and hurt swirling inside him like a tornado.  
  
“I just want to know one thing,” Kun begins, knowing that this is a conversation he could come to regret starting. “Have you been in love with him for as long as he’s been in love with you?”  
  
“I thought you were quiet on the way home.” Leo looks dejected, but his tense stance is that of a man who knows he has something to be guilty about.  
  
“Well?” Kun hates to be the one pressing this, trying to force Leo into some sort of admission. He’s been under enough stress lately as it is.  
  
“I don’t know.” Leo can’t meet Kun’s eyes. “I honestly can’t tell you, because I don’t know how I feel. Please, let’s go to the bedroom. I don’t want Benjamin to wake up and to hear any of this.”  
  
It’s a good idea. He does as Leo suggests.  
  
Kun sits on the bed, looking bewildered. He is confused as he tries to process everything and to make sense of it.  
  
“It would be a lie to tell you that I don’t love him.” Leo is struggling to choose his words. “But I love you too.”  
  
“Not enough, though.” When Kun tilts his head up to meet Leo’s gaze, a tear is already running down his cheek.  
  
“I don’t want to hurt you,” Leo pleads, his eyes glistening.  
  
“Then tell me the truth.”  
  
“The truth is that being here has really fucked with my head, right from day one,” Leo sighs. “I had no idea how much I was going to miss being in Barcelona.”  
  
“I wanted you to come here. I wished for it,” Kun recalls.  “I thought that once you were here and we were together every day, you’d realise that it was what you wanted. I was an idiot.”  
  
“Kun please – you weren’t an idiot.” Leo shuffles uncomfortably, hating that he’s inflicted so much pain on someone he loves.  
  
“No, it’s okay.” Kun hangs his head sadly. “At least now we know, at least we got the chance to give it a try.”  
  
“When I go back to Barça I’ll be myself again,” Leo says, letting his thoughts drift. “Things can be how they were before.”  
  
“What, with me only seeing you every three or four months?” Kun shakes his head, silencing Leo. “I can’t go back to that. Do you know how lonely I felt here?”  
  
“We’ve made it work for all of these years.” Leo gulps.  
  
“It won’t work now.” Kun is impressed that he is speaking his mind, rather than his heart. He fully understands the implication of his words.  
  
“But it could,” Leo insists.  
  
“It’s flattering to know you still want me for my body at least.” Kun shakes his head in disbelief, his lips curling slightly into a smile.  
  
“You know I want you for more than that.”  
  
“So what do you want Geri for? Are you going to string both of us along? ”  
  
Leo swallows hard and finds himself unable to answer.  
  
“Can you honestly say that when you go back to Barcelona, nothing is going to happen between the two of you?” Kun looks at Leo pleadingly.  
  
“I don’t know Kun, I just don’t know.” Leo puts his head in his hands.  
  
Constant suspicion is no basis for a relationship, Kun thinks to himself. He can’t live with the notion that while Leo’s in Barcelona, he’s going to be stuck here alone in Manchester, fixated on the fact that Leo could be hooking up with Geri. Jealousy, in all of its forms, turns people into ugly beings.  
  
Kun takes a deep breath, thinking that this is the most unselfish thing he’s ever done. Even forming the words in his head is ripping his heart out of his chest. He’s hurt, he’s angry, but he knows he deserves better. “If it's Geri you want, then so be it. But we’re finished. ”  
  
Leo nods, his face impossible to read.  
  
* * *  
  
For as long as they’ve known each other, Kun has always dreamt about winning a league title with Leo. They used to spend hours talking about it as they shared a room together on international duty, wondering if it would ever happen. When it does, and Manchester City lift the Premiership cup, his heart is full of joy.  
  
It means that Leo’s single season at Manchester City has been a success, at least in terms of silverware. He can go back to Barcelona with his legacy still intact. He’ll return to Spain a bigger hero than he was when he went away – he stood his ground when the club didn’t offer him a better deal, earning one with respect and hard work, and by showing that he was unwilling to compromise.  
  
They say that if you love someone then you should let them go. Kun isn’t sure that the relentless pain of his broken heart will ever go away, nor is he sure that Leo will ever wish to come back to him. Life is short, and football careers are even shorter. Letting go now is the only way he will ever find out whether or not he and Leo have anything left worth holding onto.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Dulce de Leche is sweetened milk that’s been heated to the point that it caramelises. It’s hugely popular in South America, and is Leo’s favourite treat.
> 
> 2\. Kun and Leo actually did get fined for staying out after curfew and for trying to smuggle crisps back into their room.
> 
> 3\. Chappy is Les Chapman, former kit manager at Manchester City, now a presenter/producer for the club’s media department. He loves getting the players to do hilarious things on camera.
> 
> 4\. Morrisons is a UK supermarket chain.
> 
> 5\. Blackpool is a seaside resort on England’s northwest coast. It has had previous negative publicity regarding its levels of pollution.


End file.
